I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
