Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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