I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
