so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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