Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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