im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
