He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
