Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
