I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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