we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
