I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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