I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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