There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
