He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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