it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
