People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
