Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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