in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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