Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
