Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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