hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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