you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
