I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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