Already got asked if we're dating
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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