I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
