i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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