the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
