Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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