I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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