Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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