No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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