It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
