Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
