honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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