He had one of those small greek statue penises
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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