do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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