its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
