Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
