How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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