my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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