i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the day after is always just damage control
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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