She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
