So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
