Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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