Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is wine microwaveable?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
