once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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