i already hear my dad disowning me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am naked and annoyed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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