"it" just moved
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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