i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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