so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
